is your sweater on?

I think I might be the first person to have a diaper-related-injury.

And now before you all run screaming away from me, let me explain: Yesterday, for work, I was instructed to purchase $250 worth of diapers (which ended up being $274.04) for some care packages I'm making for prenatal mothers. I don't drive, and I don't carry a shopping cart around with me, so I got to take all of these shoved into four ENORMOUS bags for a bit of a walk to the subway station, then on the subway, then on a crowded streetcar. I have never received more looks of deep pity than yesterday, waddling down College Street, plastic handles twisting into my hands and occasionally pausing to attempt to secure my bangs off my forehead. Oy.

So when I woke up, my arms were incredibly sore and my shoulders feel as if someone has sliced through them with rusty breadknives.

But it's kind of hilarious, and I'm not too broken up about it.

On Sunday morning, Andrew and I ate Lucky Charms and watched cartoons, which has clearly inspired the entire house. Last night, we watched an almost-embarrassing amount of YTV programming, and Jen informed me that she, too, had succumbed to the deliciousness of the marshmallow-y goodness of a certain cereal. Basically, we're the perfect house.

And now, it is time to see what new delights await me at work.

yes, this really is an entry about alternatives to cheese.

Ah yes, there is but one working day until the weekend. Megan and I stepped on out for lunch today (we both brought one, but got coffee from Wanda's) and spent the entire (unpaid) hour bitching about how little work we have to do/how that makes the time a-drag. Miraculously, upon our arrival back, my boss had come up with a few things for me to do, which should also keep me busy all tomorrow morning. Holla!

After work, I scooted to the health food store and picked up what has ultimately restored my faith in vegan cheese. Back in Saskatoon, there were precious little options when it came to this: there was a brand available at Superstore that contained casein (really, why the fuck would you bother making soy cheese if you're going to put a milk protein in it? seriously guys), and another hideously overpriced brand at Steep Hill called something along the lines of Vegarella or Veganrella. Vegwhateverrella was not only overpriced, but slimy and seriously untasty.

Toronto is clearly a far more veg-friendly city. I can't recall the name of the brand I bought today, but boy howdy is it ever delicious, non-slimy, and completely lacking in secret milk proteins! It doesn't melt great, but nothing soy-based does, I suppose. Anyway, thanks, soy cheese, for a trip to tastytown (I had it in an olive bun with tomatoes and cucumbers).

On another note, thursdays are great, because they are often my "day-before-travelling-day", which is my favourite kind of day (other than travelling days). DFTDs get me super organized because I've got laundry to do, showers to take, delicious things to bake, and bags to pack. So I'm forced to be on the ball! Yyyyay! And I have something to look forward to! Yyyyay!

I'm off. Have a lovely weekend, everyone.

I wanna spread my dementia

Zine: done
Photocopying at Kinko's: cheap
Dinner tonight: cornflakes with the very last of the soymilk and raspberries and blackberries that were ultra cheap in the Annex

Jen and I went for a long walk to clear our heads. Then I finished sewing a skirt and read for a bit and felt sad about my utter lack of involvement in the feminist scene here. I need to get out more and find where the resources and programming and volunteer stuff is.

I guess I just want some ladies to strategize with re: smashing patriarchy, who can also tell me "YEAH, radical cheerleaders meeting wednesday" or "I wholeheartedly support your attempt to destroy beauty standards" or "Is Leslie Feinberg not the most wonderful person imaginable?"

Being more proactive is clearly the situation. Note to self: read last sentence only once more; then do as it suggests.

it's just a joke, man, it's just an interview

My triumphant steps to the 24-hr-Kinko's (a photocopying place, not a porn shop, incidentally), zine in hand, were somewhat dampened as I realized in horror that I had forgotten my wallet.

So it gets put off for another little while...which makes me infuriated, because this shit should have been done in december. It's not like I've done any real work on it since, for goodness' sakes.

What made my venture out worth it was that I was listening to Le Tigre and wearing my boy scouts of america shirt. Most days I don't really want to go outside because I feel pretty ugly and gross and getting anywhere in this city requires you to sit down for about half an hour with a bunch of people, then walk for another half hour with a whole new bunch of people, all of whom are ridiculously well-styled and dressed. BUT when you have Kathleen Hanna fighting the good fight in your ears, you feel a little better.

Oh, and I stopped wearing makeup. So far it hasn't gone over well, as I've alternately wanted to cry and scream for the past three days. BUT WE'RE DOING OK, FOLKS! I'm also giving one last shot at the vegan life, which has made me feel significantly happier, because it means I make a lot of vegetable-based and delicious meals. Tonight: potato-carrot-curry soup.

Now, off to make comics and soup now...I'm a productive person with interests and personality. You believe me, right?

you've got this thing with walking

Today on my lunch break, I bought my usual insanely cheap and delicious coffee from Cuppa Joe and then headed to Wanda's Pie in the Sky for a gorilla biscuit (the tastiest vegan treat on the block for under $2). As I sat there doodling in my notebook and listening to one of my new favourite songs, a woman and her two children came in and hung around waiting for a birthday cake to be ready. One of the kids was a baby in a stroller wearing a hat. The stroller was facing me, as was the baby, so I smiled and the baby returned it with the best smile I have ever seen in my two decades of living. I can't explain it entirely - it was slow to come across her face, as though she were blushing, but at the same time it was such a beam that I thought she must be consciously acknowledging that she was so very worth smiling at and that she thought I was, too.

I continued doodling and writing, but kept on feeling the compulsion to look back at the baby. Every time I did, she met my eyes and we smiled at each other. Finally, I caught her mother's eye and said, "You have a wonderful baby," to which she responded "Oh yes, she gets a lot of attention," laughing a little.

"She's very charismatic," I volunteered, unable to keep from beaming as I looked down into the baby's wonderful face.

I've only been truly intrigued by babies at one point in my life, which was during Mrs. Johnston's grade twelve biology class genetics unit, and that was 99% based in awe that humans are capable of manufacturing miniature versions of themselves. Other than that, I've never wanted children, and I still don't. My exchange with this baby was not based in maternal need or instinct. It was simply an exchange with another human being grateful for life and it made me remember to be thankful for the rest of the day.

Thank-you, charismatic baby, for the little reminder. I hope you grow up strong and excited about everything you can do and be.

blasphemy

I'm updating for once, mostly because Jen commonly utters the phrase, "Oh man, I can't WAIT for you to blog about this!".

That being said, not too much is noteworthy.

I was feeling not super great in the self-image department for the past few weeks, which was quickly getting to be a huge downer...until, as I walked home from work one night this week, I found a glorious treasure in someone's recycling that had been set out for pick-up: a 1980s rerelease of Our Bodies, Ourselves. Jen and I read it aloud for awhile and it was kind of awesome in its early-third-wave empowerment.

It's going to be my best friend for life.

Here's a list of things I'd like:

Glasses that never get dirty
Darker (or even existent) eyebrows
A full-time position at not-the-wine-store (this free bottle of wine every week is getting to me)
My imaginary friend from when I was five, whose name was Bowie (as in David Bowie)

Rock on, Captain Planet(s),

ctron

faced with the dodo's conundrum

My friends, gather 'round and rejoice, for today is a most glorious day. Sing praises to the heavens; I am motherfucking employed.

Not only that - I have not one, oh ho, not one but TWO sources of income: being a vest-sporting lackey at the liquor store AND short-term work at a community health centre. Is there something vaguely ironic about this? Can I get a witness??

(To which you heartily respond: "TESTIFY!")

Anyway, I don't start until saturday, which means I have to milk these last days of unemployment for all they're worth (and trust me, brothers, they are worth oh-so-much). To begin this veritable milk-fest (worst phrase ever, I'm sorry - and I know these parenthetical asides are irritating, so I'll stop), I went to my Aunt Rita's house last night to sup with her, my cousin Emma, and her friend Melanie. After our most delicious meal of vegetarian lasagna and ridiculously excellent homemade cheesecake, Emma and Mel and I wandered down to the beach just as it was getting dark. The fog was a-rollin' over the lake and the tide was roaring in and smacking against the rocks and we sat ourselves down to take it in.

"It's sort of an 'edge of the earth' type of feeling," Melanie said. Emma was quick to agree, and the two of them talked about how the water stretching on forever was majestic and beautiful or what-have-you, but also kind of eerie.

Conversely, I found the sensation comforting. I think it's because I grew up being able to see forever - not water, but wheat ("Wheat. All there is in life is wheat."). So looking out into the gaping endless maw of Lake Ontario felt not overwhelming or spooky but...actually kind of like home. As I thought about this, I remembered Ferron saying a similar thing about when she saw the ocean in Honduras: she was overcome with an oddly strong sense of homesickness.

As much as I felt an acute ache for the prairies, I'm incredibly happy to be here now. Oh, and - having a job lends it a sense of permanency it didn't quite have before. I think I'm here to stay, comrades.