I had a really terrible nightmare last night. Or maybe it just seemed terrible because I rarely have nightmares. Anyway, the details are vague now, but I do remember a rooftop party, a girl going missing, and sneaking away from the party when cops and ambulances showed up. I didn't know why I was leaving. I was afraid they would think I did it (not sure what).
The dawn approached, and I found Alison on the empty streets of Broadway. Blood was running into all the storm drains, flowing red. I asked in a tiny voice what happened, and she said "Everyone with running water has seen it this morning. Her blood." I felt so afraid and I asked Alison to hold my hand. She did and we walked up Main street. I wondered why I had left, and if they were going to think I killed her. Alison's hand was reassuring in mine. I could hear sirens in the background.
I awoke, shaking. My bare arms were very cold. I woke CB and whispered "I had a nightmare, can you please hold me?" He was still mostly asleep, but complied. Wasn't able to shake the feeling until the alarm went off at 6:40.
Tomorrow will be my last exam at school. I'm very much looking forward to this. My friend Michela and I studied for four hours this morning. I've done all the stuff necessary for CB and my trip to NYC, and am feeling much calmer than I did this morning. Right now I can't imagine anything better than going to museums and bookstores and zine libraries and vegan restaurants with my CB.
xoxo
cbl
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Monday, May 11, 2009
the middle of things
Ah, school. I dislike it so much, yet it follows me around like a wheezing puppy I can't ignore. Actually, I think I'd much prefer a wheezing puppy to school, but I certainly wouldn't have the cash to pay for its vet bills. Anyway, one paper and three finals to go.
This weekend was TCAF, but I honestly spent very little time there, which is a bit of a downer. It happens every two years, I suppose, but I would've enjoyed going to some readings and panels. However, I had a pretty wonderful weekend anyway. CB and I slept in super late, ate falafel, were the hapless victims of an insane, unexpected thunderstorm, then came back to my house where he patiently sat next to me and kept himself occupied while I typed away at an essay. We ate pad thai at Jean's Vegetarian Kitchen (don't worry, I specified "no eggs") and returned, quietly keeping each other company until I decided to stop for the night and we fell asleep like exhausted kittens.
It sounds kind of...normal, I guess, but it was actually a really lovely time. What I'm looking forward to even more is when we can spend time together but I won't be doing school work. When we can chill and do creative stuff. CB is a top-notch person. For real. Risking sounding mushy, my day is always best when he's a part of it.
Anyway. It's time to get ready for work, if I don't want to be late, which...naturally I don't. By the way, I'm thoroughly enjoying the company I have at work, in particular two amazing individuals who laugh at my ridiculous and often nonsensical jokes and in turn tell equally ridiculous ones for me to giggle at.
Remind me to tell y'all about my hilarious Star Wars: A New Hope dream later.
xoxo
cbl
This weekend was TCAF, but I honestly spent very little time there, which is a bit of a downer. It happens every two years, I suppose, but I would've enjoyed going to some readings and panels. However, I had a pretty wonderful weekend anyway. CB and I slept in super late, ate falafel, were the hapless victims of an insane, unexpected thunderstorm, then came back to my house where he patiently sat next to me and kept himself occupied while I typed away at an essay. We ate pad thai at Jean's Vegetarian Kitchen (don't worry, I specified "no eggs") and returned, quietly keeping each other company until I decided to stop for the night and we fell asleep like exhausted kittens.
It sounds kind of...normal, I guess, but it was actually a really lovely time. What I'm looking forward to even more is when we can spend time together but I won't be doing school work. When we can chill and do creative stuff. CB is a top-notch person. For real. Risking sounding mushy, my day is always best when he's a part of it.
Anyway. It's time to get ready for work, if I don't want to be late, which...naturally I don't. By the way, I'm thoroughly enjoying the company I have at work, in particular two amazing individuals who laugh at my ridiculous and often nonsensical jokes and in turn tell equally ridiculous ones for me to giggle at.
Remind me to tell y'all about my hilarious Star Wars: A New Hope dream later.
xoxo
cbl
Friday, May 8, 2009
I'm wrapped up in a blanket on the couch before getting dressed for work as I write this, sipping a vegan breakfast smoothie that is kinda changing my life.
From Nicole Georges' Invincible Summer, Vol. I:
1 banana
1 cup soy milk
1 handful coconut shreds
1 heaping tablespoon almond butter
honey, to taste (I left it out, personally)
Blend it all up!
Seriously. Amazing.
School's been a bit of a bummer as of late, but I think I can handle it. Two more papers and three exams in the next three weeks, which is sort of horrifying, but totally doable. My self-confidence was bolstered by an academic adviser I ran into at a book launch (which I attended with the ever-lovely Jess) who remarked that my grades were very good. I mean...I guess so?
What else. Two of my zines got reviewed in Broken Pencil, which was unexpected and awesome. Unfortunately, the site doesn't have an online version of the print version, so you can't read it unless you have a copy. Anyway, this is really the shot in the arm I needed to start working on stuff again. This week, I sat at a little table in our backyard with my typewriter working on a new zine while Jess sat on a blanket in the (soon-to-be-mowed) grass, catching up on Canadian culture with a pile of arts magazines. It was a really fantastic feeling...one I hope to have again, as soon as finals are ooover.
Work has offered me some extra hours, which is good and bad - good because I need the cash, bad because it'll interfere a mite with studying this week. I think it'll end up being fine, but nonetheless I feel a shade nervous. I'll be so glad when school is all wrapped up and done with.
Anyway. I'd best be off, but I promise to try with more regular updates.
xoxo
cbl
From Nicole Georges' Invincible Summer, Vol. I:
1 banana
1 cup soy milk
1 handful coconut shreds
1 heaping tablespoon almond butter
honey, to taste (I left it out, personally)
Blend it all up!
Seriously. Amazing.
School's been a bit of a bummer as of late, but I think I can handle it. Two more papers and three exams in the next three weeks, which is sort of horrifying, but totally doable. My self-confidence was bolstered by an academic adviser I ran into at a book launch (which I attended with the ever-lovely Jess) who remarked that my grades were very good. I mean...I guess so?
What else. Two of my zines got reviewed in Broken Pencil, which was unexpected and awesome. Unfortunately, the site doesn't have an online version of the print version, so you can't read it unless you have a copy. Anyway, this is really the shot in the arm I needed to start working on stuff again. This week, I sat at a little table in our backyard with my typewriter working on a new zine while Jess sat on a blanket in the (soon-to-be-mowed) grass, catching up on Canadian culture with a pile of arts magazines. It was a really fantastic feeling...one I hope to have again, as soon as finals are ooover.
Work has offered me some extra hours, which is good and bad - good because I need the cash, bad because it'll interfere a mite with studying this week. I think it'll end up being fine, but nonetheless I feel a shade nervous. I'll be so glad when school is all wrapped up and done with.
Anyway. I'd best be off, but I promise to try with more regular updates.
xoxo
cbl
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